Nationality: Nepal
Hometown:
Time in Japan: 5 years
What brought you to Japan originally? And how long did you originally intend to stay?
I was 18 when I took the test for Monbushō (Ministry of Education) scholarship at the Japanese embassy in Kathmandu. I hadn’t originally planned on taking the test as I knew I would end up in the U.S. sooner or later. (My parents had already received their immigrant visas and had filed for ours, as well.) However, since one of my friends was interested, I decided to take the test, anyway, for fun. I was very . . . no, extremely amazed when they called me a month later to say that I had been selected and they wanted me to come in for an interview. My parents still say it was a bad idea they had encouraged me to go to the interview.
In the end, I was chosen to be a recipient of the all prestigious Monbushō Scholarship. I felt like I had earned it. Honestly, I think I just got lucky on the test as I was not a very good student in high school. (I was a B or B- average kind of student.) But the test result offered me the chance to say, “Look my performance in high school may have been crap, but I have earned my ticket to Japan.” My parents were worried that I was ditching one good way of getting a US green card. But my mind was full of “I want to go to Japan! Look how many cool majors I can study at their universities.”
So, my parents and I struck a deal: I would stay in Japan till my U.S. visa got processed—perhaps a year or so. I was fine with that, I would get to see Japan for a year on the Japanese taxpayer’s dime, learn the language, and still be able to go to the U.S. and study there, that is, to get on with my “normal” life.
Thus, I chose to go to Japan, it was not financial thing, my parents did send enough money for me to live well in Nepal. It was just, I felt I deserved the spot and it seemed cool, so I wanted to go and see the country for myself. And originally, I just intended to stay a year.
How long did you end up living in Japan?
5 years!
My immigrant visa to the U.S. took much longer to process than originally expected. The embassy lost my documents several times. And only once they had gotten tired of my constant pestering, did they decide to award me the visa. That was in 2011. But by then, I was in the second year of college—my third year in Japan because I had spent a year studying the language—and I now wanted to stay till I had finished my degree.
AC: It was around that time that Adi and I got to know each other. For the next two years, he would take whatever elective courses I was teaching at the university.
I did not want to lose a year or so moving back to US. Fortunately, the travel document idea worked out well. Thanks to Customs and Border Patrol officers—people rarely say that—who had the heart to understand that I was doing my degree in Japan. They never gave me any trouble over it and let me into the U.S. each time. Also, USCIS[1] processed my travel documents faster two out of three times. So, yes, everything worked out in the end and I wanted to “enjoy” whatever life I had left in Japan away from my parents.
What did you do for work while you were there?
I was paid a monthly stipend by the Ministry of Education and lived in a cheap apartment provided by Iizuka City—one year, though I had to pay 35,000 yen per month for an apartment—so there never was much need for money and I never really worked. Though, it feels bad that I could have spent all that energy on something more productive, Japanese universities are not really helpful at involving students in research early on. (More on this later.)
What were the positive/negative aspects of your time in Japan?
This is a minefield of a question.
Looking back, I am reminded of the struggle of learning Japanese; not giving up at night and still hammering a shitty 3000-character essays; not being able to communicate well; not being able to tell girls what I felt because that would take hours to explain in Japanese . . . The difficulty of making a Japanese friend made me somewhat more patient in life. The Bachelor’s degree was just an add-on to that experience. Also, it was positive that I found some good friends who were foreigners in a similar situation to mind, being in an isolated town in Japan with loner types. Also, life in Japan made me much more independent from my family than I would have ever been had I stayed in the U.S.
As for the negative aspects, I think I wasted four years under a terrible teaching system. After TA-ing for a while in the U.S., I can say the course work isn’t much different, but in Japan, it was much, much easier to weasel out of class. Passing was easy, copying homework was usually allowed. In my field—computer science and computer networks as well as machine learning—Japanese researchers are stuck in a whole dimension of their own, more theoretical, going to conferences that look like a circle-jerk just for Japanese universities, etc. Maybe it is also bullying by American researchers that causes them to be heavily biased towards European and North American research (if so, sorry to all my professors) but the Kyūshū Institute of Technology (K.I.T.) crew was pretty much dead-set on doing the most boring research possible. I also found the reciprocal praise of academics in Japan very tasteless. One professor comes and talks about how great his colleagues are or how great the other guy was, basically a demi-god in his field of research that we students should be on our best behavior when we approach him—mostly him, seldom her. There was one female professor in our department and even she did not care to have girls as students.
It was a very poisonous environment where we students feared to even talk with professors because they were considered to be so mighty and great. I don’t know, how that would translate to Japanese society in general. For me, this is mostly a post-Japan realization as I grew up in that university structure and was very, very surprised when at the University of Connecticut, the Dean of the Department called me one day out of the blue just to have a chat. I couldn’t believe how approachable he was.
I am a bit unfair towards my professors at K.I.T. I do think some of them do a pretty good job and try to get published in good journals and their work does get scrutinized. There are tons of people here in the U.S. who also go to unknown third-rate conferences just to get published. Resources matter too. Even here at U.C.-R(ejects)[2], we have professors who are able to secure millions in funding and purchase the cutting-edge hardware they need for research. It would have never been possible to do the same at K.I.T. with their meager funding. My department there wasn’t as strong in research as I see here. And that behavior of praising each other in Japan is quite annoying.
Maybe, you aren’t interested in what it’s really like in some small department at a small university in Japan.
AC: On the contrary, I am very interested.
To be honest, it’s not that much different in a humanities department. Probably worse, actually. At least, in the field of science, one’s research has to be based in reproducible facts and methods and the professors have to have more than a modicum of basic knowledge of their subject. At my own college, the head of the department, a professor of English Literature, was recently asked by a Canadian, “What’s the furthest you have ever driven by car?” He couldn’t understand the question at first.
There were positive and negative aspects of Japanese society, in general.
I liked the habit of being on time. I try to maintain it, still. I loved the food. I still love it. I keep looking at different restaurants and shops in Southern California to find the perfect bowl of tonkatsu ramen.[3] (No success yet.) And Americans do not know good fish (salmon, tilapia is all you get here), so I do miss good-tasting fish.
I had few negative experiences in general.
I was frequently stopped by police. I was singled out many times as something “special” because I was a foreigner. Though, I never cared about it or used it as a badge of honor. Maybe, that would have been the best thing to do.
Also, not being able to make many Japanese friends was one of the most negative parts. I do have a Japanese friend who I am close to, but he is fluent in English and much more literate about life outside Japan, so he is not what I’d call a “normal” Japanese person.
AC: This friend Adi speaks of is currently in Oregon, working for Intel. His post-K.I.T. life has also been rather interesting and worth writing about. We tried to hook up in Portland in the summer of 2018, but flight cancellations and delays nixed that.
How long had you been thinking of leaving Japan before you actually left?
About two years. Somewhere in in my third year, I decided that having a life in two countries was not feasible financially, legally, or emotionally, so I decided to not to apply for a Masters in Japan. I picked up a GRE study book, instead, and hoped I would end up somewhere in US.
What motivated the move? Was it difficult for you to say good-bye?
I would not have been able to maintain the visa in the U.S. if I could not prove that I had a life in America. My parents, they were also pestering me to be closer to “home”. My German girlfriend (now the mother of my daughter) was not really thrilled about staying in Japan, either. But most of all, I was tired of watching other foreign friends struggle to find jobs in Japan. I knew I would end up feeling terribly alone I if I managed to get a job and remained in Japan.
In a sense, it was difficult to say good-bye. I was used to life there. I wished that could have continued. Fake or not, that feeling of being foreigner as something special was hard to part with. Nevertheless, I knew in my mind that my Awesome Life in Japan—with no worries, with a ton of free money and no responsibilities—would soon be coming to an end, so I had better do something that I will like. Fortunately, I had it easy moving to the U.S. and starting a new life there.
AC: I must admit, it was hard to say goodbye to Adi. We had spent a lot of time together over the years despite living in different cities, his being half my age, and coming from a country and culture I knew very little about. He made the right decision, though. He wouldn’t have nearly the same career and earning opportunities had he remained in Japan.
Did you return to your hometown or did you move somewhere else?
No, I ended up in another corner of world called Artesia, California. And then moved on to Connecticut.
North-easterners have stick up their ass about small things that are inconsequential, like how you dress and what not. (I know this is not relevant; just wanted to vent). Though, New Hampshire is fine. I had the best days of my New England stay in that state.
People often talk of “reverse culture shock”. How has the adjustment been for you?
As I moved to a different country, there was a new culture shock to deal with, so I did not have “reverse culture shock” per say. I was just trying to fit into another culture. I was mostly shocked by how easy it was to talk in the U.S. to many people without alcohol being involved. People are just chatty here: give them a hint that you are willing to listen, and they will tell you their whole life story.
AC: So true. In Japan, it’s like pulling teeth just to get someone to open up about what they do for a living—I work in an office. I am a salaryman—In America, even if you don’t want to know, they will yack and yack and yack.
Do you miss your life in Japan? If yes, what do you miss? If no, why not?
Yes, some aspects of it. It was much more carefree. Money went further than it does now in California. It was nice being able to walk home from a combini (convenience store) after having bought beer and drinking it on the way back. Japan was safe. I never felt threatened. One bad turn here in America, however, can sometimes be scary. You keep hearing people getting shot in one location or another. The 2015 San Bernardino ISIS-inspired massacre happened not too far from where I work. That sort of thing never happened in Japan.
Also, I miss the food. The US lacks variety. It is always casserole in white people’s homes and burgers in restaurants. Maybe I should try the South. That said, the pizza is much better here, even in California with pineapples. Also, the Mexican food in SoCal is awesome. Connecticut was terrible.
Transportation was pretty decent in urban Japan. I loved all the subways and trains. Busses were okay, too. Very few traffic jams. (Parking was expensive, though.)
The decent cheap beer of Japan. Anything decent here—which is a lot of stuff—comes with a premium price.
I really do not miss Iizuka, or that shitty apartment of mine. I am sure my Japanese-style toilet ruined lot of dates. Oh, one more thing, Japan has terrible parks, terrible hiking places, terrible lawns (ugh).
AC: Yeah, why is it that the Japanese are unable to plant, grow, and maintain a nice lawn? It’s not rocket science.
What do you like about where you are living now?
Riverside? Not much really. It is just a hotter version of Iizuka for me.
AC: Ouch.
As for California in general, I like the good weather; the people who really love their work, and working with them; US Route 1 in Big Sur, the nice beaches, the nice parks. (Maybe I am just biased as this is California.) I do like living near my family. I do like the research I am doing now. I don’t know what I can add. I guess I just grew up and accepted the easy way out by living in California. Oh, traffic is shit here, though, like really shit.
Where do you go from here?
I do not know. I will most probably not go to Japan for living. My daughter and partner are in Germany, so that might be an eventual destination. Or, they might move to the U.S. I would prefer to live on the West Coast. Seattle wasn’t bad, either, when I went. Hiking in the Cascades is also pretty fun.
[1] USCIS stands for United States Citizenship and Immigration Services an agency within the U.S. Department of Homeland Security which administers the country’s naturalization and immigration systems.
[2] U.C. R(ejects) is the self-deprecating nickname of University of California at Riverside.
[3] Tonkotsu ramen is a kind of ramen native to Fukuoka, the broth of which is made from pork bones. Rancid stuff, it stinks to high heaven, but tastes wonderful.